Brokenness

Thomas Merton said: “We are bodies of broken bones. I guess I’d always known but never fully considered that being broken is what makes us human. We all have our reasons. Sometimes we’re fractured by the choices we make; sometimes we’re shattered by things we would never have chosen. But our brokenness is also the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing. Our shared vulnerability and imperfection nurtures and sustains our capacity for compassion”. (From “Just Mercy” by Bryan Stevenson, p. 289).

I grew up in a stable family; although we moved several times, which was hard and shaped me. When I was 16 my parents told my siblings and me that we would be moving again. Our move would take us to another state.

My family did move several months later, and something happened inside of me. I became a different person for several years. I felt like I was shattered by something that I would not have chosen, but then I felt fractured by some choices that I made in relationships.

I took the brokenness that I felt and carried inside of me into my marriage, and I carried it as I raised my children. The brokenness I felt and carried affected my entire life. And for the longest time I didn’t realize what I was feeling.

Healing came to me slowly and through a lot of work. Some of the work I did myself but some of the work happened as others walked through life with me. And, some of the work happened as I saw a counselor. I am still learning and growing. One of the things I learned was that I had the option of looking at life two different ways. I had chosen to look at my life seeing only what I thought I was losing. I learned that there can be a better way to look at events that happened in my life. I started to realize that perhaps God was protecting me, not taking away from me.

I want to grow in healing throughout my entire life. It is not easy, but it is worth it. I have seen the changes in my life as I have worked towards healing. I have realized that even though there are parts of my life that are messy, they are part of my beautiful story, and I am choosing to embrace the parts I like along with the parts I don’t like.

The mission at New Hope Counseling Center is to bring hope and restoration through compassionate, professional counseling. It takes courage to work to repair our brokenness. As I look at who I am today, I am much more settled and content with my life. It took courage for me to see that I had brokenness that needed to be healed, and it took work to break some of the habits I had formed. Brokenness will always be a part of my story, but healing is also a part of my story.