De-Stigmatizing Mental Health

“’What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said?’ asked the boy.  ‘Help’ said the Horse.” ~ Charlie Mackesy from his book The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse

As artist and author Charlie Mackesy notes above, asking for help is one of the hardest and bravest things one can do.  Those who suffer from mental health illnesses recognize this.  I have had clients share with me some of the messages filtered to them from the media, social network, friends, family and even church.  Among those messages are: “If I need to see a counselor for how I feel, something must be wrong with me;” “I must be weak or incompetent if I can’t figure this out on my own;” “My emotions are all over the place – I must be crazy like they say,” “No one else seems to be feeling (or doing) these things,” and “If my faith was stronger I wouldn’t be experiencing these thoughts and situations.”

For years I have had a passion for educating others about the natural, biological aspect of mental health.  The brain is an organ in the body and many things affect it.  Since our thoughts and emotions are housed in our brains, it is safe to assume that thoughts and emotions operate much like other parts of our body and the structure within it.

I often ask people, “If you bleed when you get a cut, do you apologize?”  Most look at me like I’m off my rocker and slowly shake their heads, affirming the negative.  “No,” they respond, “it isn’t my fault if my body bleeds when it is cut. That’s how it is made!”

My follow up question is “then why do we apologize when we cry?”  Isn’t it typical to feel hurt and emote when we lose a loved one?  Or when someone fires nasty words at us, or breaks our trust, or violates our rights?  We often experience pain, anger, sadness, fear, doubt and all sorts of emotions.  I don’t even label these as negative emotions (maybe uncomfortable) …just regular God given emotions which are part of our amazing make up as human beings.

Maybe if we hadn’t adopted such a negative view of mental health, along with taking on the massive stigma attached to it, those who struggle would reach out sooner and talk about what they are feeling.  Don’t get me wrong – we have made good strides.  I think of the athletes who have more recently been able to step up and acknowledge they are struggling.  Simone Biles during the 2020 Olympics held in 2021 at Tokyo, withdrew from parts of the competition due to the stress and impact on her mental health.  Other athletes and celebrities who have shared their struggles more openly include Terry Bradshaw (clinical depression and anxiety), Serena Williams (stress, anger), Chloe Kim (stress, fatigue), Michael Phelps (Depression), Brandon Marshall (Borderline Personality Disorder), Leonardo DiCaprio (OCD), Jim Carrey (Depression), J.K. Rowling (author of the popular Harry Potter books became overwhelmed with stress after her quick success), Brittany Snow (Depression, Anorexia and self-harm), Adam Levine (ADHD), Halle Berry (suicide attempt), John Green (Depression, Anxiety, OCD), and Naomi Judd, country singer who recently completed suicide from severe depression.

While I’m grateful there is increased awareness, identification and acknowledgement, we still see so many struggling to manage the often avoided and stigmatized feelings that seem to make most of us uncomfortable.  Let’s face it, I am a counselor and I often feel like I need to keep it all together.  And here is the question that line of thinking begs: why are we not as kind to our mental health needs as we are to our physical needs? How is working to calm our worries, writing out our fears or taking medication for chronic depression any different than getting physical therapy following a stroke, receiving massage for lower back pain or taking necessary insulin for diabetes?  How is learning some emotion regulation following a traumatic experience a less accepted idea than learning to drive again after a brain injury from a car accident?

There is more we can do to decrease the stigma of mental illness and to promote increased self-care and attention to this area of our health.  It appears to be such a needed tool for managing the ongoing stress in our world today. And it is vitally important for not overlooking areas of need in individuals who acknowledge this as a very real struggle in their lives, such as Naomi Judd gave voice to in hers.

Here is what you can do to help decrease the negative stigma of caring for mental health:

1.        Encourage equality between physical and mental health

Just as you would not make light of someone dealing with chronic heart disease or cancer, please consider treating mental health diseases with the same respect and care

2.       Educate yourself and others

Understand what mental health and illness are, and when you are around those who are uninformed, use that as an opportunity to share what you know

3.        Talk openly about mental health

Sharing our personal experiences on social media and in regular communication can validate, normalize and help others who have similar issues feel confident in speaking up and reaching out to get support if needed

4.        Be conscious of language

It has become easy to use words that demean and/or distort mental health conditions.  I find just changing my own language and helping to shift my clients’ automatic words, can often be “catching” with others who then do the same.  Your personal awareness of this can begin to make a difference

5.        Be open to talking with those who admit to struggling with mental illness.  Show interest in, and compassion towards, them as a human being you can learn from

This can be the beginning of education and can help to decrease the stigma that mental illness is something to avoid.  Talking about it decreases risk of people dying from it as well.  The decreasing value and worth of individuals are becoming problematic in our country – let us do what we can to show kindness and understanding

6.        Be honest about the importance of treatment

Seeing a therapist, life coach, spiritual counselor, or psychiatrist should not be any less important or accepted as seeing one’s primary care physician.  We need to encourage people to care for their whole selves and part of that is putting a stop to making jokes about seeing a “shrink” or mental health professional.

We can all contribute to the mental health movement simply by knowing and relating that mental health is not anyone’s fault or something we should make fun of or avoid.  Our collective voice sharing that it is part of our holistic health and well-being can be heard much more than keeping silent.  Yes, it is brave, as the horse shared in the above quote.  It might be the bravest thing you do!

Elaine Potts, LCSW Counseling Supervisor