Fear and Excitement: The same Reaction
This is my last blog as New Hope Counseling Supervisor. When I began over 2.5 years ago at New Hope, my thoughts were that I would retire from here. I love New Hope Counseling and how they serve the community in Quarryville and Surrounding areas. I appreciate and am fond of the staff, the small, intimate atmosphere, and the people I have been privileged to support and counsel.
So why leave? A question you may be thinking and one I have been pondering a bit more as my last day at New Hope looms closer each day. I admit that I am beginning to feel some fear at making such a big switch from a community-based counseling center near home to a much larger hospital setting in Hershey, PA.
The way this came about wasn’t driven by my discontent and searching for something new. The position kind of “fell into my lap” and I couldn’t get my mind off of the job description which seemed to be a culmination of many things I have done through the years as a social worker and counselor. It tugged at my heart and (not kidding here) I sent my resume hoping and praying the job was filled already so I could just forget about it and move on with what I was content and comfortable doing.
The speed with which they responded and had me come in for an interview, and then told me that they would like to have me join the pediatric palliative care team at Hershey Medical Center, was so fast my head was spinning and I was uncertain. I needed time to think! I had told myself I wouldn’t be commuting that far for the rest of my career days. I wanted to stay safe and snug in my little world of traveling between Willow Street and Quarryville. But the job was one that I felt deep inside God wanted me to take. He was opening doors and not closing them, so I accepted, and felt peace and even excitement once I did.
Today I oscillate between feeling excited and fearful at times. The body reactions to both I have found to be the same: tightening in my chest; surge of cortisol; rapid heartbeat; sweaty palms; my breathing becoming shallower and quicker; feeling butterflies or a lump in my stomach. The physical symptoms in both mimic one another yet the difference is in how I THINK of those symptoms and respond to them.
Being scared and fearful causes me to become agitated and overwhelmed. Feeling excited prompts me to get up and move forward in anticipation.
Mel Robbins, popular podcaster, author, and speaker, shares the following tips on helping to change your fear and anxiety into excitement through reframing your thoughts. As a counselor, this is something I often teach my clients and trust to work when practiced. So now I needed to access the adage “counselor heal thyself.” Okay, I may have adapted that, but I think you know what I mean! Here are the tips from Mel that I have added to my times of feeling fearful and have found to work:
Come up with an “Anchor Thought” that aligns with the anxious or fearful situation you are facing. It must match the context of what you are doing. For example, when I start to sweat and get butterflies over the thought of being in a hospital setting and seeing some things that I may find challenging, I CHOOSE to envision the face of the parent I will be supporting and the Anchor Thought I say is “I know I can be present in very hard situations and I am excited to be there for struggling parents and their children.” This is something I have done during my hospice days and found it usually overrides my discomfort with the medical condition I may be witnessing at the time. I can use this anchor thought by repeating it when I begin to feel the fear of the unknown.
To get calm enough to practice using the Anchor Thought, Mel recommends the “5 second rule.” She explains that it is as simple as counting backwards 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. What this does is it interrupts the emotional part of the brain which is speaking the loudest to you, by accessing the pre-frontal cortex, or the thinking part of the brain, and essentially begins to switch the gears so you can calm down enough to begin using your Anchor Thought. FULL DISCLOSURE: I found I needed to count backwards from 10! I needed a bit more time to access that thinking part of my brain when I was flying high with feelings of doubt and fear.
Have your Anchor Thought prepared ahead of time so when you become highly emotional and afraid, and your body begins to betray you, you can more easily pull on the Anchor Thought after you engage with the 5 second rule.
Practicing this over and over is also something that helps. Your brain and how you interpret your symptoms will really have an effect on changing the narrative from “I’m afraid and I can’t do this” to “I’m excited about this and feel ready to try.”
Our minds are powerful tools that we often allow to hide meekly behind our reactionary feelings which can often bully for control. I want to remind you and encourage you that even though you may not be able to control your body, you are ALWAYS able to control what you think and how you act. When you use your brain to help you, you will find that your body response follows more what you think to be true. I know this has been my practice as I wrap up my time with New Hope. I will miss this place and this community, however, “I know that I can be present in very hard situations, and I am excited to be there for struggling parents and their children.”
Blessing to you as you set off on your personal journey to change your thoughts of fear into thoughts of excitement!
Elaine Potts, LCSW